If you read my About Me, you probably noticed that I described myself as a former educator.
And you might be wondering…
Wait… why former educator?
Well, there’s a story behind that.
I spent nearly 10 years in education.
Teaching wasn't just a random job I had. It was a huge part of my adult life and, for a long time, a big part of how I saw myself.
At the same time, there was this completely separate side of my life.
I was a wife exploring the hotwife lifestyle with my husband. We were posting online, becoming more involved in the community, and eventually creating content.
As far as I was concerned, those were two completely different worlds.
My professional life was my professional life.
My private life was my private life.
And I worked pretty hard to keep them separate.
But in the back of my mind, there was always one fear:
What happens if someone finds out?
Unfortunately, in spring 2026, I got my answer.
The call I always feared
I was at work when I got the call.
Students had apparently found some social media photos of my husband.
From there, they managed to trace his online presence back to an account connected to mine.
Eventually, someone anonymously reported it.
And suddenly, something that had existed completely outside of my classroom was sitting right in the middle of my professional life.
My stomach dropped.
Even though I knew there was always a possibility of our online lives being discovered, knowing something could happen and actually experiencing it are two very different things.
There was embarrassment.
Fear.
A million thoughts about what was going to happen next.
And probably the biggest realization of all:
There was no putting the toothpaste back in the tube.
Once people knew, they knew.
Then I had a decision to make.
The situation quickly reached a point where I had to decide how I wanted to handle what came next.
One possibility meant stepping away while everything was addressed.
The other was resigning.
I chose to resign.
At that point, walking away felt like the cleanest option for me.
I knew the accounts existed. I knew what I had posted. And I didn't want to spend weeks wondering who had seen what, who was talking about it, or what would happen next.
So after nearly a decade in education, that chapter of my life ended incredibly quickly.
It was surreal.
One moment I was an educator.
Then suddenly… I wasn't.
Was I devastated?
At first, there were a LOT of emotions.
Teaching had been part of my life for so long that walking away forced me to rethink what I wanted my future to look like.
But something unexpected happened after the dust started settling.
I felt a sense of freedom.
For years, there had always been this little voice in the back of my head whenever I posted something:
What if someone from work finds this?
What if a student recognizes us?
What if this somehow gets back to my career?
And then the thing I had been afraid of actually happened.
I survived it.
Life kept moving.
And eventually I realized that I had an opportunity to completely reinvent myself.
Do I regret it?
That's complicated.
I don't regret being an educator.
I'm incredibly grateful for that chapter of my life and everything it taught me.
And I don't regret exploring this lifestyle with my husband either.
If I could go back, would I handle certain things differently?
Absolutely.
There are lessons about privacy, anonymity and keeping different parts of your life separate that I understand MUCH better now than I did when we started posting online.
That's probably a story worth sharing on its own.
But I'm also not interested in spending the rest of my life ashamed of something that is part of my story.
So I've made peace with what happened.
So… what now?
For the first time in my adult life, I'm not following the path I thought I was supposed to follow.
And that's both terrifying and exciting.
I'm figuring out what I'm passionate about.
I'm creating.
I'm traveling.
I'm exploring this lifestyle with my husband.
I'm meeting people I never would have met before.
And I'm discovering what life looks like when I give myself permission to choose what's next.
The funny thing is, I don't think the educator part of me ever really disappeared.
I still love explaining things. I love sharing what I've learned. And I love helping people who are trying to figure something out that I've already experienced.
Now the subject matter is just… a little different. 😂
That's one of the reasons I'm telling these stories.
Because behind every spicy picture and crazy adventure are two people who have had awkward conversations, made mistakes, gotten nervous, changed boundaries, learned lessons and occasionally wondered:
"What the hell are we doing?"
And I think those parts of the lifestyle deserve to be talked about too.
Losing my career wasn't how I expected this journey to unfold.
But it also wasn't the end of my story.
If anything, it feels like the beginning of a completely different chapter.
And this time, I have absolutely no idea where it's going.
— Alex 🫶💋
